I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
