direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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