How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
