giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
