tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
