the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
