well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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