Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
