Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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