I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize