This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
