Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
