Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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