But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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