Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
