dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize