Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize