Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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