Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
