So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
