who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
