Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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