STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
