I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize