I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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