talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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