Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
