he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You don't make any sense
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