that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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