Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
