you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
