Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
