i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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