Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
