Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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