dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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