im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize