Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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