can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
