Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish you could order shots online.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
