I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The air was thick with penises
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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