Me too!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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