this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
