Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
