D3 body, D1 cock
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
