It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm passing your future prison.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
