too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
