Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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