I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
