"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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