I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize