"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she smelled like a LAN party
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
