dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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