no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No stitches, just platelets and will power
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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