Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Alive.
So much puke
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
