we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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