Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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