why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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