fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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