omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
